Ray of Light

*A supportive husband that can talk me through even the hardest times...and if that doesn't work he's there to hold me while I cry.

Ray of Light

*I can get SO much information with just a click of the mouse...the internet is truly a blessing and one that DEFINITELY makes my life easier.

*A teacher who is doing all she can to help my child not get bored in school...it's hard when they're smarties like their daddy!

*Warm showers on a cold day!

Ray of Light

*Pulling the latest book order out of Bradley's backpack...pure joy right there!

*A sunny morning...even if it's still cold at least there's sun.

*Loading a dishwasher instead of washing dishes by hand.

*Having my own floor to sweep, instead of one that I rent.

Ray of Light

It's been too long...

...I can't say my life is fabulous right now. The last few months have been some of the worst I've had, but I made a medication change and I cautiously optimistic that maybe things are looking up. But one way or the other, I still have so much to be thankful for so at the very least I can mention those things that bring a light to my life during the darkness.

*Making apple turkeys with my boys (oh, and one "apple Braeden." He didn't want an apple turkey. You can see him on the right with the spiky hair, not feathers!)

*Hearing Bradley say his line in the primary program perfectly.

*Asking Braeden if he likes preschool and listening to his response, "Sure do!" (pronounced "shore dooo!" with kind of a western accent)

*Getting notes from my 5-year-old that say, "You are fantastic, Mom!" (after he asked me how to spell each word.)

*Having my 3-year-old lovingly pat my arm and say, "You okay. It not hurt." While they take a blood sample.

*Watching the excitement in Bradley's face as he does addition and subtraction. (I'm such a math nerd!)

*Hearing the excitement in my boys voices when their daddy comes home...he gives them every reason to love them.

*Asking Bradley if he'd like me to remove his bracelet from Red Ribbon Week (Drug Awareness Week) only to have him reply, "NO! I don't want people to think I take drugs!"

*Finding out that my insurance paid and extra $125 to my APRN so I have a credit and didn't have to pay for my list visit nor do I have to pay for my next visit...and they weren't supposed to pay anything until I met the WAY TOO HIGH deductible.

*Finally having the energy to exercise more than one time in a week...I'm still deciding if I'm thankful for the fact that I can barely walk today because of it? (That 30 Day Shred is a killer!)

As always I could go on and on. But I know probably what is most important is that I'm recognizing my blessings and making a specific point to be openly thankful for them...it's amazing what that can do...you should give it a try!

When Something Wrong is Something Good

Phew, I won't even try to apologize for my lack of posts...craziness is just my reality right now.

But hopefully in the months to come my craziness will morph into a more manageable , I don't know, dull roar. Anyway, about a month ago I went to my gynecologist and as part of my lovely yearly check had a full hormonal panel done. Never in my life have I been so glad to give blood and so hoping there was something diagnosably wrong with me...or something ELSE wrong with me.

After a LONG weekend of waiting, I found at that not only was my thyroid out of whack, but my progesterone levels were VERY low. So like my title suggests, this is one of those times when something wrong is something very good. In both of these cases, there really should be a relatively minor "fix" (i.e. medication or a cream).

As I said, it's been about a month and I have seen some change. We'll see how things continue and I pray it will just get better. Just remember...wrong isn't always bad.

Your Prayers Are Felt

Thank you SO much for the many who have prayed for me lately. By no means am I out of the woods so to speak, but can feel your love and prayers. Even just this morning I was reading an article from this month's Ensign called A Scripture That Changed My Life and nearly all of the scriptures touched my heart. The article is well worth reading, but here are the scriptures that were especially poignant to me:

2nd Corinthians 12:9-10

9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

D&C 59:23

23 But learn that he who doeth the works of righteousness shall receive his reward, even peace in this world, and eternal life in the world to come.

Revelation 7:17

17 For the Lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of waters: and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes.

A Distant Light

A Distant Light

by Marianne Anderson

The tunnel is long and dark

A tiny light afar I see.

Running and reaching

No brighter it gets.

Stumbling and falling

But still trying again.

Running and walking

The pace is slower now.

Still reaching and striving

But the light is still dim.

Wondering and hoping

But on me the glow does not fall.

Distant and disoriented

Is there still a light?

Lost and confused

In what way should I go?

Scared and small

Is there still hope?

Crying and praying

In the darkness lost.

Fear and aching

A new shroud makes.

Wanting yet retreating

New bonds now control.

Calling and hoping

But again lost, alone.

Pleading and reaching

No light to be found.

Gasping and clawing

No escape to be mine.

Desperate and dying

No alternative left.

Kneeling and submitting

My one last hope.

Awakening and breathing

Fresh air touches my lips.

Tentative and leery

Not ready to stand.

Groping and feeling

Not sure of support.

Hoping and praying

What's that I see?

Peering and pleading

Is that what I need?

Looking and leaning

Have I found my way?

Praising and crying

A distant light I see.

I'm not even sure if there is anyone out there still reading...I haven't exactly been regular in my posts lately. Needless to say the last several weeks have been nearly more than I can take. I think, and am praying that we're working toward a new answer. I hate to think what will happen if the light we're going toward now is not the right now.

Please keep me in your prayers. I know that in SO many ways I am very blessed, tremendously blessed. What's hard is when that doesn't seem to be enough. When the chemical balance in my body could care less hope much the Lord has given me, I find it so hard to move on. But HE is still there and HE will show me the light. Just pray that I can have strength to follow HIM.