One of the most helpful pieces of advice I have ever received came from a favorite college professor, Dr. Bill Marshall. Ryan and I enrolled in his research methods class (specifically for the Marriage, Family, & Human Development degree), but we got SO much more than we'd bargained for. For starters we learned a ton about research, but he ran his class in a very different way (this is usually a VERY dreaded class, but with his style it was much more bearable), but what made his class the best came from an unlikely course of events.
While we were in college 9/11 happened and so consequently we were also in college during the big economic slump that followed. I don't remember the exact details, but basically the university was having to figure ways to reduce costs which meant that adjunct (part time) faculty had to go. This decision came mid-way through the semester and that is when things changed in Dr. Marshall's class.
He just happened to be one of those losing his job after that semester. Luckily this wasn't too devastating since he was planning to retire soon, but needless to say this wasn't in his plans so his plans had to change. He decided that in a lesson or 2 we'd finish up the basics of research and then he was going to give us what he considered his best lectures of his career. The things he felt were more practical and applicable to our future happiness.
I have to admit the first thing I was excited about was not having to write a research paper in our research methods class (isn't that cool...he figured we'd written our share of papers and he'd done his part by teaching us every thing we needed to do short of actually writing the paper...and what we he worried about, it's not like they were going to fire him!). But after that excitement wore off, I was really excited to hear what he felt was more important for our future. He'd been teaching for many years and had obviously lived many years as well, so he had his share of practical experience racked up and I was ready to glean from his wisdom.
I'd always enjoyed his style of teaching so I didn't mind attending his class, but after this change I couldn't wait to go to class. I LOVED my major (Marriage, Family, & Human Development). I didn't think there was anything better to prepare me for every facet of life, since you know you kind of deal with people all the time. And here I felt like Dr. Marshall was giving us the cream of the crop. It was FABULOUS!
I do admit I don't remember everything he taught us (you know...I'm just like Dory), but the principle that has been most helpful, especially as I try to balance and figure out this battle with depression was the following:
While we were in college 9/11 happened and so consequently we were also in college during the big economic slump that followed. I don't remember the exact details, but basically the university was having to figure ways to reduce costs which meant that adjunct (part time) faculty had to go. This decision came mid-way through the semester and that is when things changed in Dr. Marshall's class.
He just happened to be one of those losing his job after that semester. Luckily this wasn't too devastating since he was planning to retire soon, but needless to say this wasn't in his plans so his plans had to change. He decided that in a lesson or 2 we'd finish up the basics of research and then he was going to give us what he considered his best lectures of his career. The things he felt were more practical and applicable to our future happiness.
I have to admit the first thing I was excited about was not having to write a research paper in our research methods class (isn't that cool...he figured we'd written our share of papers and he'd done his part by teaching us every thing we needed to do short of actually writing the paper...and what we he worried about, it's not like they were going to fire him!). But after that excitement wore off, I was really excited to hear what he felt was more important for our future. He'd been teaching for many years and had obviously lived many years as well, so he had his share of practical experience racked up and I was ready to glean from his wisdom.
I'd always enjoyed his style of teaching so I didn't mind attending his class, but after this change I couldn't wait to go to class. I LOVED my major (Marriage, Family, & Human Development). I didn't think there was anything better to prepare me for every facet of life, since you know you kind of deal with people all the time. And here I felt like Dr. Marshall was giving us the cream of the crop. It was FABULOUS!
I do admit I don't remember everything he taught us (you know...I'm just like Dory), but the principle that has been most helpful, especially as I try to balance and figure out this battle with depression was the following:
When is the best time to take a break?
BEFORE you need it!
I feel like in American society we try to run ourselves into the ground and then when we do get to take a break it is NEVER long enough. It was a really hard principle to start living (I've always tried to do WAY too much), but as I slowly started to make it part of my life, you know what? I felt better! (I can't believe it....he really was right?!)
For anyone I think this principle is SO important, but for someone with depression or any number of other mental illnesses, it is imperative.
The break doesn't have to be taking a trip to Hawaii or something like that (although I don't think that's a bad idea either), even just taking a few minutes out of each day to do something that you really love goes SO far.
I often find myself looking back at the last few hours of the day and if I've just been running from one thing to the next, I mentally cut off the rest of my to-do list and move it to the next day. Then I sit and read, or spend some Internet time, etc. The "break" will be different for each one of us, but it is SO worth it.
The days that I really crash come after a day where I didn't set proper limits and I never gave myself that break.
Sure it can be frustrating that I feel like I HAVE to take the break, but as I've talked about before, my reality and therefore my expectations have changed and so breaks have just become part of daily life.
So thank you Dr. Marshall for teaching me something that would be SO helpful to me, long before I really needed to know it.
1 comment:
AMEN! It's so much easier to feel re-energized when you don't have a ton of re-energizing to do (does that make sense)? It's easier to fill a cup 1/4 of the way than it is to fill the entire thing.
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