Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Finding the ray of light in the darkness...

I am exhausted!  Just plain exhausted.  I'm exhausted physically.  I am exhausted mentally (i.e. at first I was thinking physically was spelled with an 'f').  I'm exhausted emotionally.  I'm just not sure how I'll be able to pull together the strength I need to even do simple things like warm up hot dogs for the boys.

I was doing pretty well the last little while, but today was the last straw.  We woke up and Bradley had a temperature for 103 degrees.  No, that's not astronomically high and plenty of kids get sick every day, but this will make 6 weeks straight of at least one member of our family being sick.  I'M JUST SO TIRED OF IT!  

Part of me feels very ungrateful.  None of these sicknesses have been more than a week or so, but at the same time, they've meant that I'm cooped up inside (not so much from being outdoors...which does make a difference...but from doing things with other people).  One of the major coping techniques I've been using to fight my depression has been scheduled social activities.  And with every week of sickness more of those go out the window.  It really put me into a rut today.  So as I'm trying to crawl my way back out before my Young Women's activity tonight I thought I'd try to search for some Rays of Light.  They're always there and they always help.

*I'm finally feeling well enough after the flu I had last week that I don't dread going to sleep.
*It's sunny outside
*The cookies I made for Bradley's preschool class turned out well.
*The cookies I made for Bradley's preschool class are all out of the house now...phew!
*I got my grocery shopping done before Bradley got sick.
*I was feeling well enough (barely, but well enough all the same) to go to my brothers graduation last weekend.
*It's Wednesday so I was able to talk to my husband for a bit (on Monday & Tuesday he's out of cell phone range.)
*My boys are playing (with minimal fighting) downstairs.
*My Internet is working again (it wasn't this morning).
*I have a home.  One that the previous owners took GREAT care of!  Thank you!
*I married the man of my dreams...seriously!
*I have 2 beautiful and generally speaking, healthy boys.
*Ryan has a job that provides well enough to allow me to stay at home.
*I have amazing friends.
*I can email, and shop, and get on facebook, and blogger, and SO many other things online!
*I'm literate...it would be a SAD day for me if I couldn't read.
*I can pray and there is really someone there listening and answering.
*I can have a bum day today and have the power to start over tomorrow.
*I finally got my lawn aerated and he even fertilized for only an extra $5.
*We found our elliptical for only $50 and it's be SO good for me...I actually should have a date with it in a few minutes.
*Although I'm constantly fighting my weight, I have a healthy body that I don't have to constantly be "fixing" at the doctors.
*I have a great depression support group (DBSA).
*I have a college education.
*I never have to take another college class in my life, but I can if I want to.
*I have DVR (I know it sounds dumb, but I LOVE it...NO MORE COMMERCIALS!)

I could go on and on, but I should probably go fix those hot dogs.  But thanks for all of you that will read this post.  I don't know that just writing it for myself would be enough.  Thanks to you, too, for being a Ray of Light.

4 comments:

Lara Neves said...

The sickness is enough to pull anyone down! This winter has been super tough on our family sick-wise, too. And I'm always stuck inside with the sickies when the sun is shining! It doesn't seem fair!

Here's hoping that this is the last bug you'll have for a while and you can get your schedule back to normal.

Fromagette said...

I sure hope this is the last illness of the season! Good luck!

Lovely Lisa said...

That's a good list! Here's a hug-- ((HUG))-- and a wish that everyone is feeling better soon!

Vicky said...

Sorry you guys have been so sick! :( Hope you're all feeling better soon!

I always enjoy reading your Ray of Light lists... even when you have to look really hard to find something. It reminds me to always be on the lookout for things that I'm thankful for.