Sunday, May 10, 2009

1 year later...

Today, Mother's Day, is an interesting day for me.  Mother's Day last year I was traveling from North Carolina to Utah.  We were in the middle of the mountains in West Virginia when I totaled our car.  Luckily no one was hurt, but I think that day has still left a stain on our lives.  I suppose it is kind of a bittersweet memory.  We were blessed SO much by a dear couple that we had never met and even since then we have been blessed by our association with them.  But aside from the list of blessings that surrounded this event, I think it still was a catalyst for a downward spiral.  

In many ways I think it was the last straw on the camels back and made what would have been hard (moving), REALLY hard.  Both Ryan and I were really strapped in so many ways.  The past 3 years, although great in many ways, were also very taxing.  We had been to hell and back in so many ways.

I admit I'm emotionally tired enough right now that I don't have the mental energy to be eloquent.  I guess what I'm ultimately trying to say is that Mother's Day is a mixed emotional bag for me.  My husband and sons have been great and I SO appreciate their love and attention.  But I feel torn because part of me is reliving the feelings and stresses of a year ago.  

The mind and the heart are mysterious...

1 comment:

HeatherH said...

We all have our ups and downs - I KNOW you'll get though whatever rut you may be in. Just keep swimming and reading your scriptures and praying and listing your rays of light! When I feel very unmotivated (the way I've felt this whole last week being home from my trip), I set very small goals for each day. Sometimes it's only one thing. As I start to accomplish something each day, my emotional energy starts to return and I can do more and more and not be such a crab. Does that make sense? I hope it helps!